The most important question ever.

If not this, than what?

photo by cca

photo by cca

Photo by Sean Gaw

To the Fuji rider…

It has been a long time and this is probably the way it is going to go for me with this blog.  Right now I am working my guts out trying to get the RIT project in a state of completion.  If you want an idea of what has been going down, first read about the RIT project, and then read about Charrette.  This is not the point of me writing though.  I want to tell one of those stories that make me feel connected and part of a larger, civil community.

I ride my bike to work most days just as I did on May 18th.  I was starting to feel a bit under the weather but did the ride anyway.  Turns out that the combination of 14 hour work days and sickness is not a good one, and I got full blown sick that day.  It took a long time for me to feel physically better and awake enough to ride my bike back home.

A bit about the bike.  My bike is not much to look at but I do love it.  It was lovingly called a “frankenbike” because of its put-together nature.  It’s a mutt, but a fierce, fast mutt.  All I can say is that I bought a bike that fits me and I have begun to really love it even though it feels bad being parked next to the BMWs, and Mercedes of the bike world here at Cambridge Center.

At my workplace we have a bike locker in the garage and I felt that my bike was perfectly safe being left there for the better part of two weeks.   But … there was always a fear in the back of my mind that someone would complain about the fact that my bike had not moved in a while.  So, last night when I was walking to the garage to retrieve my bike and ride home I started getting a bit nervous.  You know, the nervous you feel when you walk down lane 87 at Target parking lot instead of lane 86 and you can’t find your car?  You know the feeling that “it finally happened and I am a victim of grand theft auto without Lojak”.  So … the butterflies start.

I turn the corner and spot my bike.  Whew, and then as I entered the locker there is a yellow slip of paper tucked into the handlebars.  Oh no! (said like Mike Birbiglia)

The two thoughts I have are that the building maintenance people have tagged my bike for removal and I am going to have to go to them and explain the situation.  I realized that the paper was not official looking so my mind then thought, well, a fellow biker is getting all agro on me about taking up a space.  I take the note, open it and find this …

Nia's Note

This was such a wonderful find.  I love when this stuff happens.  I really feel connected to my network of community.  Just so you know, I am that guy that bought the bike, and I do admit that I am a friend of Bruce Cormack’s (grin).

Nia, if you are surfing the web and happen to find this post, thank you so much for making my day, my week, and possibly my month.  I dream of a day when our lives are filled with little yellow scraps of wonder, just like this one.

So, that is my story.  I hope to be off my deadline soon and look forward to sharing more with you. Take care all.

Quiet but not gone.

So much has been going on these days and so little time to attend to writing.  Since writing is a hobby, it unfortunately takes a bit of a back seat to many things  These days Suzanne and I have been working a ton, dealing with our back porches in the state of near collapse, and you know, all the myriad of things that happens during normal life, times ten.  I have a number of things I want to commit to the blog on deck including the continuation of some short stories, a bit on architecture, a bit about the election, and maybe some images of what I have been working too hard on lately.  Stick with me folks, I want to keep this up so don’t lose faith in my yet.

Take care fo yourselves.

Point of self values

 

photo by Josh Rothman source Flickr

So I am approaching the turnstiles at the Harvard Subway stop and I am about to swipe and enter when four individuals leaving the station all go to the four turnstiles and exit, followed by another four people who then occupy all four stiles.  So, I stand there, frozen, with my card hovering, waiting to be swiped and time and time again another person looks up at me … and then proceeds to use the turnstile I am standing in front of without a word or gesture.  They just have a look on their face of “yes, you must stand aside for me.”  Since I have no choice but to stand there spending some quality time with myself,  I think about the situation.  The voice in my head says:

“Good citizens, I am just a guy who is trying to catch a train.   I stand here watching you and your fellow commuters willfully block my access to the train you, and they, just left.  I can now hear the chimes that are telling me that the doors are closing and that I will be waiting another 15 minutes (if I am lucky)  before I can be on my way.  Is there not a way we can work out a system to allow us all to work together?  Could the exiters, maybe, stay to the right and the enterers stay to the right and then we will not butt heads?”

Fast forward to the evening and the reverse seems to be happening.  I find myself standing at the other side of the turnstiles watching droves of people try to negotiate inserting and removing the ticket. (You see, there are a lot of what my wife and I call “amateurs” at this stop.  These people are flummoxed by the system and create bottle necks everywhere.  This is only a point of amusement and not of frustration.  I have been a stranger negotiating a strange system in the past.  I understand the confusion)   So I stand there, trying to make eye contact so that someone will give the 3 seconds it will take for me to exit the station.  No dice.  I stand there long enough to have some internal discourse … again:

“Can’t these fine folks see that this is a crowded station and that they system works better if you let people out first.  The time it take for me to slip out of the turnstile is about the same time it takes for you to find your T-pass. (Why did you not have it out beforehand is my real question?)  Maybe if you entered on the far right, and I exited on the far right we would not have this confrontation?”

See what is happening?  This is an example of what I would like call “Point of Self Values”  Point of Self Values are defined by creating internal judgement that supports your own self interests despite logic or consistency.  I realize that you cannot justify that people should give way to me on my way into the subway, but also expect them to give way to me on my way out.  It would be nice if we could be aware enough to set up a system that works for everyone, but in these moments our own Point of Self Values rules the day.  

We do this all the time though and I am starting to realize how much we do this.   Another great example of this is the ire we have toward pedestrians when we drive.  Pedestrians are clueless and careless.   Pedestrians should understand that I am controlling a big fast heavy machine and cannot react fast enough to ensure your safety.  But, as soon as one is walking, we know that all drivers are jerks and detached.  I mean, its 28 degrees out and sleeting out and you are sitting in a Volvo with seat warmers, can’t you wait 30 seconds for me to cross the street.  This is 30 seconds that you can “make up” by putting the slightest of pressure on the gas pedal, while the best I can do to make up time is to run?  Don’t even get me started when you throw cyclists into the mix.  That kind of gray area makes chaos the rule and brains explode.

There are numerous other examples.  I hate when people bring large strollers into small public spaces, but I believe that public spaces are important places to live an enriching life and would want my children to exist in those spaces.  I am unclear if I would be so bold as to drive an SUV sized stroller through a 8 foot wide cafe’, but I would probably feel justified to do so if I thought it was important for my children.

Do you have experiences like this?  I would love if you could share them with me.  The more we put this on the table the better I think I can understand how to stop thinking this way.